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I was recently long overdue some quality self-care, so I wanted to share what I focused on and some tips on what you can do too! A mother's wellbeing is so important and very easily overlooked when many plates are being spun, and lots of different people are dependent on you.
Recently it hit me - after almost 4 years of either pregnancy or rearing our beautiful children full-time, I was suddenly craving, needing, DESPERATE for some focused energy on self-care! I was starting to not recognise myself. I'm sure this is normal...please tell me it's normal!? Within this time I no doubt would have had moments of carrying out some self-care, but they felt stolen and were ridden with guilt. Now, it goes without saying that I absolutely adore being a mother to my wonderful little babes, but I recognised that something had to change in order to be the best version of 'mumma'.
I did a little research into self- care and have summarised 6 of the different types. There is also financial (e.g. being responsible with your finances - saving, budgeting, management) and professional self-care (e.g. having clear and professional boundaries, development, taking breaks, time management). Hopefully, the visual aid will help you identify what form of self-care you need in your life to nourish you.
An overview of some self-care examples
Can you recognise any areas from the infographic that you need to focus on? What should you prioritise? Your goals will invariably be dependent on how much time you have in your day, but here are some suggestions for different lengths of time:-
10 minutes:
- Flick through a magazine
- Write down your gratitudes
- Have a little boogie
- Do some mindfulness colouring
- Meditation
- Make a smoothie
- Have a quick call with a friend/family
- Listen to some music
30 minutes:
- Paint your nails
- Watch an episode of your favourite series
- Have a nap
- Go for a walk
- Skincare e.g. facemask
- Read a book
- Yoga/pilates etc. class
- Go for a run
- Do some gardening
2+ hours (whoop - freedom!):
- Spa
- Visit the garden centre and buy some plants for the house
- Go for a bike ride
- Haircut/highlights
- Catch-up with a friend/family for lunch or dinner
- Watch a movie
- Learn a new skill
- Go shopping
Personally, I instantly recognised that I was under nourished in the 'personal self-care' department. So, my first port of call was treating myself to some new bras that actually fitted me. Yes, that's right, my ol' faithful, shapeless and dull nursing bra buddies were being packed up (even though I hadn't stopped breastfeeding entirely, I was this desperate). My breasts were rejoicing at the prospect of having a bit more lift and 'oomph'. The small (and sadly, now saggy) gals were back in town! This was followed by a wardrobe cleanse, signing up to yoga classes and indulging in some products from Beauty Pie.
Once I got on a roll in identifying areas that I could improve in, there was no stopping me. Here is a list of some other priorities that I added to my self-care journey, that may hopefully give you a little inspiration to you:
Prioritise date nights. We have got into a rhythm where we try and go out for dinner once every couple of months, and dress up for the occasion. We also try and have a games night each week as we love a good game.
Book in to see friends during the evenings. Meeting up for playdates is obviously a great opportunity to see friends, but you don't exactly have quality conversations together when little ones are around. So, going for dinner or grabbing a drink one evening is a better way to connect and enjoy being in each other's company. Psychologically heading out after 7pm can certainly feel like a big hurdle to overcome (loungewear and TV can be so appealing!), but you won't regret it once out!
Reading before bed. I like to have a couple of books on the go now - one fictional to help switch-off and more of an educational one, and then I can dip into either depending on my mood.
Try a new skill and create a bucket list of new skills. It could be anything from needle felting to learning to play the piano.
Practising gratitude and encouraging it as a family too, for example you could go around in a circle at dinner saying what you are each glad for. Or you could do the G.L.A.D. technique, which was apparently adapted from Donald Altman's 'The Mindfulness Toolbox'. It is a way to find joy, balance and positivity. - G : Gratitude, one that you are thankful for from your day. - L : Learning, one new thing you've learnt from the day. - A : Accomplishment, one big or small thing that you have accomplished today. - D : Delight, one thing that laugh, smile, bought about joy or pleased your senses. Apparently, in order to enhance your G.L.A.D practice it's best to share it with others.
Subscribers can access a self-care weekly tracker that you can download from the resource library. You can add your own personal affirmation each week e.g. I am doing my best, and my best is good enough. You have a reminder to practice the G.L.A.D. technique each day, and space to add your personal priorities/goals for each week, e.g. spend time with loved ones, stay active, drink plenty of water etc. and tick them off.
I hope this had given you some food for thought and helped you identify what self-care you require and need to focus on. Remember it's much harder to pour from an empty cup! Enjoy filling yours up.